Isn’t it funny how we find ourselves sharing the very message that we need to hear?
In my last article I talked honestly about how easily we can get stuck.
– Stuck in relationships
– Stuck with our finances
– Stuck in a job that we don’t like
– Stuck with how to grow our own business
I just got back from Washington, D.C., where I experienced the good, the bad and the very ugly of humanity.
It was emotionally draining and by the time I turned out my lights last night I was exhausted.
And today? Well, I felt stuck.
In fact, I felt so stuck that I almost didn’t write this today.
Then I remembered what it was I wanted to say… and I had no alternative.
I promised you that I would provide you with the solution for getting unstuck.
You’re about to discover what I did that you must apply to your own circumstances if you want to get unstuck.
It’s not a pill you can swallow that will take care of your problems.
It’s not a new year’s resolution. It’s already getting into late January. We’re over it, right?
And it’s not a book with 7 easy steps that will have you on your way faster than you can microwave popcorn.
In fact, it’s harder but less complicated than all that. And every change in your life that you make comes down to this one simple solution.
It comes down to your choices.
With the exception of things that are beyond your control, you are where you are today because of the choices you have made.
And with the exception of those who have actually been victimized at the hands of someone else, you don’t have an excuse. You don’t get to play victim.
The decisions that you and I make set the trajectory for our destination.
The trajectory doesn’t mean we’ll always hit the mark, but the odds of getting close to that goal are sure much better if we aim for that goal.
So why are you stuck?
You made a choice to be stuck.
That horrible relationship you are in? Unless you are a prisoner shackled to the door, you have choices.
That “American dream” which has eaten up your finances? There is always a way out.
That job which you absolutely hate? You are there because you choose to be there.
And I can tell you why the majority of you are still there.
You are afraid.
What will happen if I choose to change things?
I may be alone.
I may end up homeless.
I may be unemployed.
Yes, all of those things CAN happen.
But one thing is for sure…
If you stay stuck, you’ll never know. And you’ll never get to experience what you REALLY want out of life.
It’s said that real change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.
Go read that sentence again if it didn’t sink in.
We are pain averse. We do whatever we can to avoid pain, be it physical, emotional or financial.
You may feel the pain of smoking….
… but the pain of quitting and going without feels like it would be worse.
You may experience the pain of being financially overextended…
… but it’s better than risking losing it all.
You may feel the pain of your job…
… but that doesn’t feel as bad as the perceived pain of starting your own business.
Pain is a motivator. It is an indicator there to tell us that something is wrong.
When you have pain in your body, you see a medical professional.
When your taxes are out of whack, you see an accountant.
Pain is there to alert us that something needs attention.
But avoiding pain can put the spotlight on a greater pain… the pain of being stuck. The pain of not living up to our full potential. The pain of asking ourselves, “is that all there is?”
That pain sucks. Because it is filled with regret. It is a life unlived.
Are you stuck in that horrible relationship?
Make the choice to not tolerate it a moment longer. Have honest conversations with your spouse, partner or friend. Be real. Be honest. Try to find a solution. Try to make it work.
If it doesn’t, you may have to make another really tough choice.
Are you stuck with the big house that you can’t afford the mortgage for?
Make the choice to find a way out. Take a second job. Start a business. Downsize to a smaller place. Get rid of the extraneous “stuff” that you don’t really need anyhow. The stress isn’t worth it.
And are you stuck in a career that drains the life out of you? Or is your business stagnant?
It may be time to make a choice. To take a leap of faith in the direction of your dreams and see what happens.
I don’t want to minimize those who are having an extra difficult time. There may be circumstances you have absolutely no control over. But you still have a choice as to how you will navigate the hand life has dealt you.
I was stuck today. I didn’t feel like writing this article.
But I remembered my commitment to you, and I made a choice.
Sure, it was a small thing. But I can point to small choices and major life choices that I’ve made which have helped me get where I want to be. It’s not about the size of the choice. It’s that in those moments where we feel stuck, we recognize that we are fully empowered to change things.
It’s up to you. And it all begins with a choice.
Once you know you are all-in and ready to make that choice, you’ll be prepared for the next step.
Recognizing that there is a problem and committing to make a change is the essential choice we call “decision.”
The question then becomes this:
What do I need to do to execute that decision?
And that, my friends, will be the subject of my next article.
Please let me know your thoughts on what you’ve read by commenting below. I read every comment as your feedback is very important to me.