My favorite Aunt in the whole world is my Aunt Joan. She is my mother's younger sister and I have some fantastic memories of her from my childhood. She was always bubbly, gregarious, fun-loving and pleasant to be around. She loved her parents, her sisters, her children, her nieces and nephews and her grandchildren with a passion. Everyone knew when Joan was in the room. Her laugh was something akin to a "cackle", and she used it often. Remember "Janice" from the sitcom "Friends"? It wasn't unusual to hear Joan screech an "Oh my gawwwwd!" I saw her fairly frequently when I was young, but only a few times since I left Illinois after college.
I speak of my Aunt Joan in the past tense now because she died last night.
Last year, Joan was diagnosed with cancer. Initially, the doctors were not optimistic and gave her just a few months to live. However, she was quite a fighter as she braved the treatment, and the doctors were quite impressed at her progress. I saw her last winter at my nephew's bar-mitzvah, and she seemed just like her old-self, only a little older.
A month ago, my mother emailed me and told me that the cancer was back and that it didn't look good. The doctors were speculating that she had no more than 4-6 months to live. I am planning to travel to Chicago to see my family over Thanksgiving and was hoping to see my favorite Aunt at that time.
I will never get the chance.
My mother called last night to tell me the sad news. The cancer had spread just about everywhere but her brain. My mom joked that it made sense because Joan was always a bit "nutty" to begin with.
We cried together and I expressed my sorrow for our family's loss.
Needless to say, we have cut our Arkansas vacation short and are now back in Oklahoma. Tomorrow morning we hop a plane to Chicago where Mary and I will spend the next couple days mourning our loss alongside my extended family. And I'm sure it will turn into a celebration of Joan's life.
I had really hoped to see my Aunt and speak with her one more time, if nothing else to tell her how I loved her. At the very least, I had intended to phone her when I returned from vacation. That will never happen and I will live with that regret for the rest of my life. I missed an opportunity and I hope I have learned a valuable lesson.
Don't wait until tomorrow to tell someone you love them. Don't wait till tomorrow to reach out to someone who is hurting or in need. Tell them while it is still called today.
Farewell to my favorite Aunt. You are gone, but you will never be forgotten.
It's Del.icio.us!
Furl It!
October 27, 2005 08:26 AM
Sorry for your loss Joel. She sounds like a special lady.
October 27, 2005 09:02 AM
Sorry to hear the news Joel... and thanks for the reminder to reach out and tell someone that I love them today.
October 27, 2005 09:20 AM
Hi Joel,
Condolences on the loss of your Auntie. I was fortunate yesterday to watch my 5 year old daughters very first school concert and it just goes to show that whilst somewhere in the world someone is happy at the start of something special, in another place someone like yourself is sad at end of something special.
Thanks for reminding us all about LIFE!!!
October 27, 2005 09:22 AM
I share your sorrow. What a time to come to Chicago when the whole city celebrates a World Series victory. But you will be celebrating a life well lived too.
I have some empathy with you since my wife also has cancer (diagnosed in April). That experience is more of a bean ball than a curve.
Our prayers are with you and your family.
P.S. Another small world coincidence. I was planning to spend our honeymoon in Eureka Springs 32 years ago. Never made it there due to car trouble. We will get there in the next six months!
October 27, 2005 12:01 PM
So sorry to hear of your loss. I know you will be sharing wonderful stories about your aunt with your family. Because of those memories she will always be alive. I have no doubt she knew how you felt about her and if you could just feel her hugging you, you would know she is telling you not to be so hard on yourself. Lesson learned.
October 27, 2005 12:21 PM
Hi Joe, Sorry to hear that, chap. I know where you're coming from, I recently buried my granny and had to hold my dog of 15 years while the vet gave it a leathal injection. Your view on life changes forever, the first time you carry that coffin down the road, with someone you know well, in it.
Times like these always remind me of that scene in The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo is complaining to Gandalf.....
Frodo
"I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had ever happened."
Gandalf
"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that has been given to you."
Take Care chap.
October 27, 2005 12:31 PM
Hey Joel,
So Sorry To Hear About This.
You Are A Real Gem.
I Really Appreciate You
and THANK YOU for Your Inspirational Message Today.
Sending Lots Of Love Your Way!
~Sunny :)
October 27, 2005 01:28 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss, Joel. I, myself, just recently got news that my grandparents' health is fading faster than before. I was going to stall on going up to see them because we had just moved, and I hated to leave my boyfriend alone to unpack, but he pushed me to just go right away because if I waited and something happened, I would never forgive myself.
I drove the grueling trip last weekend, and I'm very happy I did. I don't think they are dying very soon, but if anything happens, I know I got up there and spent some quality time with them. You are right. Never put off a trip to see family. If in your gut it feels important, than it is.
Mourn because you will miss her light, but always celebrate her life as she would want you to.
In my prayers,
Leah
October 27, 2005 03:09 PM
Dear Joel:
MY heart and prayers go out to you. Losing a loved one is never easy. Our hope is in "Our Lord and Saviour", without him we are nothing.... If you need someone to talk with, my ear is there for you.
Send me an email and I will send you my phone number.
Sincerely,
John Harris
Cemetery Broker
www.cemeterybroker.com
October 27, 2005 07:07 PM
I too send my condolences to you and to your
family. I had a good friend who had
cancer, and was winning. But he did not
have enough money to continue the diet
his doctor put him on. Otherwise, he
would probably be alive today.
Hang in there,
Steve
October 27, 2005 10:39 PM
Joel,
From myself and all of the dads at Fatherville.com we will keep you and your family in our thought and will lift you in our prayers.
Regards and Respectfully,
Mike Farrell
October 28, 2005 01:25 AM
Sorry to hear about the tragedy, Joel.My condolence.
October 28, 2005 03:02 AM
Hi Joel - Even though I'm sure you'd like to see her again, it may bring some comfort to you and your family to remember that your Aunt is in a better place. My condolences to you and your family.