18 Days Without You

I disappeared.

Well, it wasn’t like I suddenly gained the power of invisibility (though I think that would be pretty nifty.) But to those who read my blog, subscribe to my newsletter, send me email or messages, or follow me on social media, I may have well been invisible.

For eighteen days, I pulled the plug on all of the above, essentially disconnecting from the relationships I have with so many on a daily basis. No work email. No blog posts. No email newsletters. And no posting OR reading any social media.

No Facebook, Twitter, G+, Instagram, Blab, Meerkat, Periscope or any other means of sharing what I am doing on interacting with what others are doing.

During this time, I went off by myself for the entire time. It doesn’t matter where I went because it wasn’t about the destination. It was about taking a solo journey without family or friends and removing myself from the social engagement that has become part of the fabric of my life.

I did use text messaging and Skype to stay in touch with a select few family members and friends, but it was limited.

Buffer was useful for scheduling a handful of Tweets and Facebook fan page posts, so if you saw something pop up while I was away it was because it was automated.

There were over one thousand photos taken during my journey, but I didn’t share a single one.

My iPhone and iPad were with me, so I created a new folder and placed all my social apps and email app into it. Then I dragged the folder to the last page on my devices and aptly titled it “Keep out.” (In case I needed a reminder.)

Oh, and I also didn’t shave. True story as my now-scruffy face will attest to.

So the inevitable question those of you reading may be asking is “did I miss being connected?”

The surprising answer is no. Not really.

The first couple days or so I instinctively thought about opening Facebook and email just out of habit. But then I remembered that I’d decided I wasn’t doing that, and stopped myself.

It wasn’t difficult. In fact, it was MUCH easier than I thought it would be.

[tbpquotable]As the days passed and I lived my life unplugged, I found myself thinking about it less and less.[/tbpquotable]

I took plenty of photos that were worthy of sharing, but I felt like they were special to me in the moment and I wanted to keep them to myself.

That’s not to say I won’t be sharing any of these photos in the future. But it’s likely that some of them will be used for photoquotes, rather than to tell the story of where I was and what I was doing.

I’m thankful for a virtual assistant who managed my email and was instructed to forward only essential email to an unused address set up for such a purpose. I think she contacted me regarding three or four issues, but it’s amazing how much could wait until I returned.

So what did I learn?

First of all, I need to do this more often. Now don’t get me wrong. I do love the relationships that are formed and deepened on social media. And I truly enjoy the technology.

But… I’m not sure. I’ll just say “but” for now because I don’t know what to say next. Returning is just as much of the process of discovery as unplugging and I am asking myself some tough questions even as I write this.

Second, I noticed that as soon as I logged in to email and social that there is a ton of catching up to do. There are public posts, private messages, tweets, emails and other prompts that may require a reply from me. I teach others that you should always be the master of your social media domain and not the other way around. Whether or not I catch up or not is really a test to see if I can continue to let some things go. It means that not everyone will get a reply and some may get their feelings hurt. But having healthy boundaries means recognizing what I am capable of and what I am willing to do.

Finally, it’s nice to be missed. I think we can easily take each other for granted.
Knowing that there are those who missed my thoughts, musings, rants and general silliness reminds me that I am having an impact on others’ lives. I think it’s easy to question ourselves and ask if we are making a difference. We all need positive reinforcement. Coming back to a warm welcome is just a nice thing.

You may still wonder where I went and what I did. Only a few know the answer to that question and I’m currently opting to not discuss it for a few reasons.

I’m still processing the experience. And I think being back home will allow reflection to continue and perhaps bring additional revelation to mind. I don’t want to talk about it yet because I think I still have more to learn from it.

And more importantly, there is something empowering about keeping something special to yourself. When we share our lives through posts and photos, those experiences become public and others experience either by relating to similar experiences or by living vicariously through us.

However, having a phone packed with photos that tell stories which are mine and mine alone makes the experience more special… almost sacred. It’s like posting to Facebook and selecting the “only me” option instead of Public or Just Friends. Except in this case not even Mark Zuckerberg gets to peak inside.

We talk about being addicted to social media. But for me, there were no withdrawal symptoms. There was only me doing what I wanted to do, where and when I wanted to do it. And I found it quite liberating.

I’m not sure what it all means. But I believe it means that I need to unplug more often, whether it be for an extended weekend or for a longer period of time.

To truly enjoy the benefits of disconnecting, I don’t think a week is enough. While it can take some people a week to truly get into the groove of relaxing, it only took me a few days to truly feel like I was in the flow. But I’m really glad I took as long as I did.

It turns out that Facebook is still a thing, though I did discover that the site went down for an hour while I was away. You may wonder if I was responsible. Let the conspiracy theories fly.

As always, I enjoy when you share your thoughts with me. Please use the comments below to do so!