Are You Stuck in a Rut?
Have you ever gotten your car stuck in a ditch? Your rear tires desperately try to find traction only to spin deeper and deeper into the mud. The more you step on the gas, the worse your situation becomes. And now you are spraying mud everywhere. It can even end up on other people and their vehicles.
You can keep trying to get out of the ditch. Or you can realize that what you are doing isn’t working and its time to try something different.
Today on Project Grateful I briefly wrote about the rut, and how I am thankful because it can be a catalyst for change.
After I posted the entry I realized I had much more to say, so this entry is designed to elaborate on that concept. Hopefully it will help you if you are experiencing a rut or ditch in your life.
I’ve had a number of struggles in my business over the years. What business doesn’t? I recently posted about some failures that taught me valuable lessons.
I’ve spent time in the ditch, spinning my wheels trying to make things happen. Sometimes I felt like I was getting some traction. Other times I saw that I had just made a bigger mess.
I don’t believe it’s God’s plan that we work ourselves to death, especially when we pay a price that affects our own well-being and the health of our family. I do believe hard work is important and that we have to put “feet to our faith.” But I’m learning that balance is a key.
When you discover that you are in rut, it might come as a surprise. Sure, you know something is not quite right. But you don’t attribute it to anything other than life just unfolding before you. You may even know in your gut that a change needs to be made, but for any number of reasons you stay right where you are.
It could be pride. It could be stubbornness. It could be concerns about finances. Whatever the reason is, if we don’t recognize that something is off kilter, we are doomed to stay in the rut.
And living in a ditch is no fun.
The past few years have found me with a number of fantastic blessings in my business. Best-selling books, big audiences to speak to, products that have topped the charts… all really good stuff.
But at the same time I have faced some very painful trials that have taken a toll on me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was in a rut. I was spinning my wheels. And the more I spun the deeper my ditch became.
I’ve been meaning to pull away from the business and make time for me to figure out what I want to be “when I grow up”, but I just hadn’t felt free to do so. After all, what would happen to the business without me?
I recently awoke to the fact that I desperately NEED to pull away from the business to a degree. Circumstances have unfolded which showed me that what I was doing was not healthy. Not only can decisions at work affect your business and your own well-being, but it can easily spill over into the lives of those you love. That’s not good.
I have taken stock of the situation and believe that my team is fully capable of not only managing the business, but causing it to thrive. Yes, even I am dispensable.
So I decided to move into “sabbatical” mode.
Now it’s not a sabbatical in the truest sense of the word. I am here. I am blogging. I am popping into the office to check in on the team and our projects. And I am still planning on speaking as the right opportunities arise.
But my time is focused on resting and discovering what God has next for me. I am at a major personal turning point in my life and I have no idea what comes next.
Last time I was in a place where I didn’t know what to do next, I became depressed. I couldn’t see the big picture and I felt like I was a man without a mission.
It’s different this time. Now not knowing what comes next is very liberating and freeing for me. I realize that I don’t have to be who others think I am. And I don’t have to be what others expect me to be. I get to be myself. I find that very exciting!
What about you? Are you stuck in a rut? Are you spinning your wheels in a ditch? Are you really tuned in to what you want to be doing with your life or are you being fake to yourself and others?
I would encourage you to take some time to be honest with yourself. Ask those closest to you to help you evaluate and ask you the tough questions. You might spare yourself wasted time, energy and grief by taking steps in the right direction.
Be sure to leave your comments below!
Joel,
You always manage to ask the hard questions, when I’m not ready.
I’ve been shifting gears for a while. Over summer, I relocated. Mom got sick, came to stay with me. She ended up in the hospital in Greeley, we found out she had cancer. Not a cancer anyone should ever have. It was not only debilitating but so fast acting that she had days left, by the time she even found out about it. Within 6 weeks, she was gone.
That sent me reeling – I’m still spinning. Putting my business “back” is not really an option. I need income, but I also have dreams I want to achieve. I still have kids at home, so any changes include them. I have a lot to think about, but… the questions have been coming at me from all directions.
The big question includes my own health. Mom’s cancer was a direct scare, since hers was genetic.
Lots to think about and do,
Jan
Very excited to see what is coming next for you! Many people automatically assume that “new” or “different” is bad. I choose to think that there’s a very good chance that what comes next can be even better than what exists now.
The Rut—how I’d like to kick it in the butt sometimes. Everyone has their ruts and I feel every time I am in one–I have to remember who it is I serve and that only faith will get me out. It’s when I feel things are going so bad that not only am I in a rut, my whole family is in one, too. So instead of getting upset, I smile and halfheartedly laugh to myself because I know bigger things are in store. It’s only hard convincing those around you to have faith and remain positive. Let’s not be moved by what we see in the natural, but what we “see” in the spiritual. To learning from the ruts and getting out of them!
great post joel, it also hits home for me because in a way that where i am now.
yep, im in one right now the reason i started a blog about doing the the impossible.
to push me into doing things, change things, anything to move forward.
http://www.bzemic.com/impossible
Great post. I love the word “Balance.” I had been lacking this for the past 5 years. From 19-24 I work what seemed like 24/7 on my MLM business and I realized it was not where it needed to be. I took a step back from my business and did some soul searching and realized that giving back to others was more important. I began blogging for myself and I am in the process of finishing up my first book and donating half of all proceeds to cancer survivor support groups. I’m only 25 but I feel that I have great direction and an important mission.
Thanks Joel
http://www.twitter.com/baplante
Hi Joel, your comments ring a chord with me here on my 60th birthday today – (How did it fly by so quick?)
It’s not until you hit halfway 🙂 that you realise you’ve missed out on all the ‘really important’ stuff.
With 8 kids and 14 grandchildren I’m constantly reminded about the ‘good stuff’ – hope you’ve found yours as you’ve given an awful lot of value to those who’ve read your blogs, followed your journey and ‘yes’ bought your products.
Like that you’re using the Socrates theme on project grateful 🙂
Cheers …. Pete.
Joel, great post and I can personally relate right down to the last detail you wrote. Yes I am in a rut and have recognized it for quite some time. I know that God has something in store for me, and while God’s time is almost never *my* time in terms of how quick things happen, I am confident things will happen for the better. What action should *I* take to get out of the rut? I do not know. It’s not a matter of fear, finances or time, but very much more not knowing HOW to get out of that rut, or what direction to point the car in once I am removed from the rut. (Although I assume that will be self-evident once rut-free). How do I *grow* my business and make it more “self sustainable” so that I can actually *enjoy* many of the things that the “Internet lifestyle” has blessed me to at least partially live, without having to be there daily to “coax” things to keep the momentum rolling.
another great post full of insight – funny that no matter how many plans you make that life has the final decision. I’ve known for a while that i need to step back and take a good look at what my life constitutes right now, but, I always seem to put if off because I’m too busy – maybe that will change!!
regards
Stu
This is very cool Joel. I feel ya! I have been living a less-than-true life, too. I was raised in a Real Estate family and that was my natural career choice. The last few years, things have been rough and it has forced me to ask myself if RE was right for me. God’s timing is perfect! Now, I get to take all of the RE business lessons and combine them with some of the internet marketing skills I have learned from people like you, and build a business in golf that I am truly passionate about when I used to believe that a golf business would have been too good to be true. Thanks for your vulnerability, it is serving us well. Amen!
Very timely for me Joel. A good word. I appreciate it.
You know Joel, I never post my personal issues on blogs but you touched a chord. About 4 years ago I was riding the financial wave with millions of dollars in real estate, great home, great family, great life. But I used that freedom to work harder and make more instead of enjoying the fruit of my lifetime of efforts.
Now I am 62, I have lost everything (well, material things). I have no income, have had numerous foreclosures and, because of my age I am virtually unemployable. I no longer have the precious freedom that I wasted and my choices are limited. I am working my ass off trying to get my internet businesses going and have little to no time to enjoy my family or my life. My point, for you and anyone else who may be reading this, is that if you have even the tiniest amount of time to enjoy the blessings of life, take them. Don’t wait, take them now! Go to a movie with your spouse, play with your children or grandchildren, walk on a beach, watch a sunset, plant a garden just embrace everything that makes you smile. After all, isn’t that what we started the journey for in the first place?
Blessings to you all,
Don
It is good to see that there are still people who can confess that hey are in a rut and that they are responsible.
Every day you see and hear people complaining about their circumstances, and that is all they do… nothing else.
It is never about the future because we don’t have any control over the future.
All you sometimes need is to just become quiet and to shut out the ego driven voices in your mind, and to just listen.
Because we never listen, we never hear what we need to hear. Sometimes we ask and plead so hard that we also don’t hear what we need to hear.
If it wasn’t for that quiet place in my mind, where I could go as a child or that voice that gave me strength, I would not be here today.
Go there as often as you need for it is there that you will find the power you need to go on and your answers. From that voice of reason or as I believe, the voice of God.
Wishing you all the best.
Hi Joel,
Funny you sent this message out, at a time after my husband and I just had a conversation about being in the rut. And he said sometimes he feels like crying but just can’t cry. He was reflecting over life itself wondering about things that he could change or things he could have done. I can relate to your blog, yes sometimes we really have to take a step back and allow God to help us discover some things about ourselves that we maybe overlooking. It is a humbling experience. In life there is a period of resting, reflecting, and renewal, and in these times we are living in, this should be a prescription for everyone of us. One thing I told my husband is that we will make it, if we just don’t quit. Oh by the way, I use your virtual typewriter to write a letter to God.
I know what you mean. I have been an addict to work, alcohol, just about anything I do. No balance. The last year or so have been the most dificult time of my life. But I have learned and learned the hard way. But this is good because I also recognized the need to take stock..what is important in life and you know what, it is not work or just having a good time. These are important but not the top priority. Looking to God for guidance and strength. Looking past the now and seeing that life is just a stepping stone into the great eternity. What we do here, as it relates to our obedience to God, I believe, will live on with us, and that is my top priority now. He will take care of the rest and with that I feel a peace that I have not felt in a long time. God bless you!
I was in a seminar Last Night where the audience looked at ‘being predictable'(in a rut). One more successful website won’t be More Satisfying to you. What I discovered about myself is that I’ve got to find a bigger game to play. Just doing the same old thing is … empty. I’m an Emmy-Nominated Journalist, and I been Excellent in most major areas of life. Why not set a goal that is so BIG, so outrageous, you would have to Live in a World of the Impossible? Life would be fascinating because there would be no path to follow. Every day would be the unexpected, unpredictable. I have inventing a new tool which will save thousands of lives AND I’m going to use it as an opening to End War on Earth. Look in your heart Joel. Be honest with yourself. What does your integrity tell you that you should do next? I’m in Denver. Email me and I’ll buy you lunch. Sometimes we can’t ask ourselves the really hard questions. Are you ready to climb above the extraordinary person you already are? I am – let’s support each others efforts.
When I read the subject line of your e-mail this morning with the question: Are you in a rut?, I knew it was a sign. I had to open it immediately and head to your blog. It was worth the read. Very inspiring. I know I am in a rut or digging a rut — but I don’t know how to stop or get out. I think that is mainly due to fear. I have always been a very confident person (hardworking, loyal, diligent, responsible, etc.). But lately, I feel my self-esteem has lessened. I give myself pep talks — but I need more. I need help.
“Without the rain, you don’t get the rainbow.”
I don’t know who authored that, but we all know it’s true. You, Joel, have built a solid, faith-based foundation for your life – and it will be exciting to see what your future rainbow(s) will be… When the time is right, I know you will share them with us… When I met you in person several years ago in Loveland, I sensed that you are a man of deep faith and integrity… Your future journey in this “sabbatical” will be a beautiful adventure! Keep having fun, Joel!
Great Post Joel. If you can stuck in a rut how much more a person who has financial problems right now.
No one is to blamed for our downfalls except ourselves. Th wrong thoughts robs us of big things.
“Making money” for the sole purpose of making money is a disease of the modern world that needs a remedy.
Healthy success starts with a generosity of thought and speech. Here’s a great article why every business owners needs to practice it.
http://homebasedbusinesses.biz/generosity-of-thought-and-speech
Joel, this article is so inspiring. Life is about more than work. It is about purpose. In the “world” a mature person is someone who can do everything for themselves. They are independent of others and have it “all figured out.”. In the Kingdom of God, that person would be considered a “babe in Christ.”. In the Kingdom of God, a mature person is someone who is not independent. They have learned to depend on God for everything. They understand that they can do nothing without Him. To the world, a mature Kingdom believer looks like a baby….lying there in it’s mothers/fathers arms waiting to be taken/transported to the next destination. I applaud you for taking the sabbatical. It’s a sign of a mature Christian who is determined to live the life that God intended…HIS will over our own… Blessings & Peace!!!
Great Article Joel:
Your post today sounded like you were talking to me. In 2002, everything was going Great. I had a great business going, great family and friends, good health and everything just going great. Then on the morning of May 1, 2002, our beautiful daughter went in to a clinic and had an routine IV as an outpatient. The doctor had assured her and us that everything was going to be just fine and she should be back up and about in about 2 weeks. The very next morning, we went to wake her up and she had passed overnight. Our world changed forever on that day. You never ever get over the loss of a loved one, but especially your child. The pain is still there just like the day she passed. Then shortly are her loss, I started losing my eyesight and by 2008, I had basically gone blind. I found a nice eye doctor who operated on my eyes and restored most of my vision, however, I am having trouble again with my night vision. With these unexpected things going on in our life, our savings was wiped out due to the large unexpected medical bills we have incurred. Then about 2 1/2 years ago, our little Mom and Pop retail music store that we have been operating for over 35 years now started suffering due to the economy and is currently having a hard time surviving. And about six months ago, I developed Bells Palsy and had to deal with that for several months. You see, I was going along thinking everything was going just great and nothing could change it, and then reality set in. We are a strong faith family. I have a beautiful wife of over 40 years and son and 2 great grandchildren who I love and cherish. Since the loss of our daughter, I have been trying to get a successful internet business going. I have a couple of websites trying to sell affiliate products. I make a sale now and then, but nothing like I would like to make. I would love to get my internet business really going so I can spend more time with my family. If you have any thoughts or can help me get that internet business going, I would be most grateful to hear from you. Thanks for your post and please keep us in your prayers.
It is great to recongnize when it is necessary to retreat. Does wonders for the mind, soul and body. Most people today don’t realize this and the stress of life keeps on growing till they come to a point of no return.
Great sabbatical they alway’s a hoot Howie Schwartz said a similar thing a few month’s ago, and them webinars are very good. Last week I spoke on one, its on again this evening. Great reminder thanks Joel your enthusiasm for the chip landscape is very inspiring. The threads in these posts to are amazing. Great to hear people finding your wonderful abundance of online tools that to makes me happy. Today in my thoughts will be cancer patients, and I not be to quiet and keep moving forward with brighter and more constructive goals. Like I say great learning curve and after the daily sabbatical I may have to on a doctorate. Chuckle. God bless America.
We all get ourselves stuck in a rut at one time or another and we don’t even see it coming. Fortunately this is all part of our life curve and we are able to get through this part without to much problem. For those who find it too difficult to get through then find the time to get yourself a mentor for that needed push in the right direction and you will be glad you did.
May you all be blessed
John
Revolution is what’s needed !!
I recently experienced the same ruts and realised yes, change is a MUST. I started with looking @ all the material items and went through and still undergoing a massive ‘spring clean’ of everything that I don’t want and donating same to charity. Not interested in EBay or other online auction sites, too much time infront of a computer screen and being dictated by technology.
These days it’s about spending the time realising dreams, working with people I want to work with, not being influenced by the unnecassary demands of others, stand your ground and hey, create something extraordinary and express yourself accordingly.
IT’S ALL GOOD. Happy day.
While you’re stepping back to look at your life and try to discover your mission, go out and do some selfless service. That’s a good way to get a fresh perspective and appreciate the most important things in life.
Go volunteer somewhere. There are millions of choices. Spend a week in a soup kitchen preparing food and feeding others who can’t do it themselves.
Go play games with some Seniors in a hospital or Care Center and listen to their life stories.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve ever done this before or even if you think you have no desire to. Push yourself a little and go do it and you will be amazed at how it can change your life.
A very wise person told me a long time ago to look, every day, for opportunities to do something for someone else that they would have no way of doing it for themselves.
It is life-changing. You will be amazed at how other areas in your life will then fall into place. Lose yourself in the service of others.
Hi Jan!
My heart goes out to you with the challenges you have been going through.
You mentioned the word ‘genetic’. There is a different way of looking at this. Have you heard of Bruce Lipton? He has done some fascinating research with beliefs. Lisa Garr of The Aware Show (Los Angeles area) on the Internet has interviewed him as a guest. He says that beliefs are more important than genetics. We can actually control our dna with our beliefs…and our thoughts. You can ask that Lisa repeat the interview. Just Google her show on the Internet. Many show hosts replay these interviews by request. But you have to do it soon because the series of interviews will end fairly soon and then the audios will not be available. This is life-changing information. Bruce goes deeper into his work. I think he is awesome. I’m not sure if this link will still work for you, but here it is http://www.theawareshow.com/connect/lipton/ . I do not receive commissions or anything. I do this because I care. May you find what you are searching for. Let me know how it goes. In the subject line of your e-mail, please put “Bruce Lipton research” so that I know it’s you, and your e-mail doesn’t get deleted as spam.
Smile…it really makes a difference,
Linda
Great post Joel. I have been thinking the same thing. I have become aware that in several ways, I have become stuck. I was living in a house that cost more than I could afford. I’ve hit a roadblock when I try to plan important events for the coming year. I have become stuck in some important relationships. I wrote about it – and spoke about it too, here: http://www.dweidlich.com/?p=155
I do not know where to begin on this one Joel, but to say I understand your feelings very well. As I have said before I am still trying to get out of that “Ditch”.
Hi Joel, I’m stuck now with content of my blog. I like the way you write it’s easy to relate and I like the content. Just live in the moment. Got a nice advice from Mary Morrisey. Said you can’t find God in the past or future only in the present. Look up what currency and current have in common. It’s interesting.
Take care
I understand that Rut and what it can do to you. I feel I have hit that ditch right now and I am trying to figure out which is the proper direction. It is not easy and maybe it is not suppose to be. But would be nice to discover who you are and what are you suppose to be doing. Thanks for the post. It has given more to think about but with some clearer questions to consider.
Why we have to be in a rut (sometimes) is a time to seek God’s guidance, strength and hand-holding. It’s a way God says ‘Hold on’.
We are now living in a time of materialistic self satisfaction without a balanced perspective of life and purpose. That includes without a spiritual walk with our Creator down the path of our everyday life. Instead, money and fear work center stage in almost every aspect of our lives. And our lifestyle becomes distorted and meaningless until we break down and get stuck a rut.
Ronne, yes we can get out of the rut if only we allow God to hold our hand and lift us out of the rut.
Joel, I, too, am stuck in a rut both in my full-time job and my internet business. I became involved with IM April 18, 2008. I’ve taken training, read a lot of online books, etc. And after 2+ years, I’m still working on IM, even though I have made a cent. I refuse to give up. I have 3 sites that between them get several thousand unique visits each month. The problem is, none of the visitors take the time to purchase anything. Enough of that. I have become a big fan of yours. I follow you becuase I think you care about people and really want to help so others can succeed. Keep up the great work.
I love the way that we can express the “really big questions” out on the web. Joel, you are someone who I see as ‘authentic’! I’ve seen you speak in person many times, and I purchased your “Elevate” Seminar and learned so MUCH from it! You have added important knowledge, skills – and by that means – VALUE to my life and to some that I have helped as a result. I am in “learning mode” … and I have learned … to continue learning and being a great learner … it REQUIRES you become also a great teacher. You are already ‘authentic’, ‘genuine’, and you have added ‘great value’ to many people’s lives … if you are at a crossroads … I can only imagine that it means that you are ready to step into something bigger, larger and of greater value — you ARE a good person. I’ll be waiting, watching and wondering … eager to watch your ‘next phase’ unfold. AND … if I can EVER be of service … just let me know. I’ll be around. Thank you for all that you are and all (the good stuff) that you do!
I seem to be queen of spinning my wheels! The question is how the heck do I get out of this?!?
yes your right , it really is true what you said joel
Hi Joel,
As usual, you have hit the nail 100% square on the head. Right now, the Rut has decided to pay me a visit as well, and your article has arrived right on cue.
Within a space of 5 months, I’ve got married, had to give up an income-earning job, and relocate 800 miles across the country that I live in. I thank God for the strength He has provided to me in order to achieve all of this and still be sane!
Enjoy the ‘semi-sabbatical’ and I know that God will reveal His plans for you, just as He will reveal His plans for me when He is ready.
Here’s the way I see it.
Because of my analytical personality, the first thought I had concerning this subject was; what is a rut? And better yet, offer some solutions to this problem! So first off let’s attempt to define the problem.
In my way of thinking, a rut is only a temporary condition; a mild form of ‘the blues’
Usually, this is overcome by the mere passing of time
There are active and passive methods that I have used in the past for a complete recovery from this condition.
Normally, when we come out of a rut, we wonder how we got there in the first place
If a rut lasts longer than an hour, it may signal a more serious condition, such as depression
or anxiety so I am restricting this discussion to solutions leading to a simple Un-Rut.
This was a short list jotted down in a manner of minutes. I’m sure others could easily add to it considerably. I put it in outline form to save you reading time.
1) The active method-physical:
Keeping or getting busy, otherwise staying occupied
Work out
Walk-run-exercise-punching bag
Eat-drink-smoke
Artistic
Music
listen-sing-play instrument-dance
Draw-paint-sculpt-write-dance
2) The Passive method-mental:
Deep breath-relax for 2>5 minutes
Take a nap, sleep
From within
Meditation-ponder
Actuality/reality, positive/negative, Yin/Yang, life/death
Imagine-a calming place from the past or imagine one
Yoga
Is Life a condition or a state of mind
Self hypnosis
Realize others in a worse condition or state of mind
Man without shoes is better than man without feet
How much of life is luck and what proportion is self wrought
From others written Inspiration and ideas
Prayer-Bible
Famous quotes & phrases, cliches’, Zig Ziggler
Your friend, Andy
BestChoiceEbooks
P.S. Thanks for the inspiration Joel.
This makes for a very good topic.
Perhaps I will write an article about this on my own site soon.
Andy’s Articles
Dear Jan:
Life is mostly fluff and bubbles, but two things stand like stone; kindness in others troubles and courage in your own. No one can predict what is ahead for any of us beyond the present. I didn’t understand why my mother was taken under similar circumstances to yours. Have the comfort that you were able to be together. Keep working on your dreams. Of all lifes wins/losses and challenges I take great comfort in my goal for my children and that is when they think of unconditional love, strength and happiness they think of me and the rest is fluff and bubbles.
Sounds like you are telling us to stop watching you and start doing our thing to progress to the next step. I just took a huge step in my career. While I have dabbled in network marketing and real estate, I am a nurse. I am going back to school for my masters, thanks to my fiance pushing me along. While it may not be the most comfortable move, it will be the best move to make in the long run. I am getting out of my rut, because I need to do this for myself and my family. Thanks for the great article.
Joel, I have spent a huge chunk of my life in Human Resources, part of which involved matching people to jobs. I’ve also spent another large chunk of my life as an owner of 3 placement agencies involved in matching jobs to people. It was not clear at first, but eventually I grasped an important truth. People should not do what others think they should do. They should not do what they themselves think they should do (for whatever reason….money, status etc). They should ONLY do what they really want to do … regardless of the circumstances. Your soul will favor you forever.
Best of luck to you and whatever is in your future!
Waiting on God is by far the best choice. You receive blessings when you put Him first.
Jan, can you tell me more about your mum’s cancer?
My mum just got diagnosed with Glioblastoma .
I was in a rut before, now I am in a sad, tearful rut