I Am Leaving Social Media

Byjoel

What I’m about to say is not going to go down easy. It won’t be easy to digest. And I’ll probably lose a few fans by speaking my mind.

That’s okay. I’m not afraid of controversy. And frankly, someone needs to say it. I’ll be the one to say it, and I accept the consequences of whatever happens as a result.

When I survey the social media landscape, there are some alarming trends that have become increasingly disturbing.

I’ll explain my reasoning, but the end result is that I am leaving social media.

I know, it seems bizarre for a “social media expert” to make such a seemingly abrupt tactical move. It may appear that way, but let’s take a look at what is happening in the social space.

1) The social media space is controlled by a few major players who are after one thing… your data. Facebook, Twitter, Google, LinkedIn and Pinterest are all about numbers. How many people can they get to provide as much personal information as possible so they can sell you more stuff by releasing personal information to third party advertisers? We are all commodities to be marketed to. Facebook can put privacy controls on their site, but who are they kidding? They know way more about you than they would ever want to admit publicly.

2) While some conversation takes place on the social sites, there is more noise than ever before. Twitter is littered with fake accounts and bots. LinkedIn users who you never met plead for endorsements of their products or services which you never heard about previously. Facebook is an endless parade of feel-good sayings and photos of cats. Millions of posts, shares and tweets go out each hour, but the ratio of posting to listening continues to broaden. In the words of Pink Floyd, “Is there anybody out there?”

3) Social media has made it incredibly easy to be rude to other people. Insults, put-downs, and outright meanness has become a staple of the social culture. Whether the discussion centers around politics, religion, sports, entertainment, lifestyle or any other subject, people have been desensitized to basic human kindness just because they can’t see or hear the people at their keyboards on the other end of the fiber cable.

4) Other people have endangered their future careers or relationships by playing out their personal drama on social sites. Are we so far gone that there is no thought of the kind of information we share publicly without concern for how that information may come back to haunt us in the future? It seems to me that discernment is a quality severely lacking in the social space.

5) From a business perspective, everyone, their grandmother and their dog is now a “social media expert.” There is NO value in the label any longer. It is now synonymous with “I haz a twitter account.” I use the phrase on some of my pages just because I know that people will search for the term. But I choose to refer to myself as a “New Media Marketing Strategist.”

6) Spam spam spam spam spam. So many are using social sites as little more than billboards to sell their products or services. This has become so prevalent that the majority of us have become blind to all streams of data, assuming that we are going to be bombarded with advertisements.

Am I culpable in this charade? Yes. After all, I wrote the world’s most popular book on using Twitter for Business. But that was several years ago.

That’s why I must leave social media.

Now don’t get me wrong. Social sites have some great benefits.

I enjoy connecting with family and friends.

I enjoy making new friends and sharing content with them.

I enjoy posting photos of my own life, especially when I encounter a tasty meal or catch my cat doing something cute.

I confess that I enjoy feel-good quotes and infographics.

I know I am giving up a great deal of privacy, yet I continue to post, like, tweet and share.

It’s a daily obsession. I’m connected at my computer and on my mobile devices. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t updating my status or commenting on someone else’s.

That’s why I’m thinking of leaving social media.

Of course, social sites have become a primary source of news for me. After all, I don’t believe any of the mainstream media are the least bit trustworthy. Their whole purpose is to sell toothpaste.

So while accuracy on social sites can be a stumbling block, at least I can be relatively certain that while what I am reading may not be factual, it’s at least not being propagated by Proctor & Gamble.

Citizen journalists are slowly transforming the way we receive and interpret current events. But who directs the conversation? Millions of people all striving to have their voice heard? Is this what freedom of speech has come to? Let’s face it. It’s a beautiful mess.

That’s why I wonder if I can get away from social media.

But up pops a “like” from something I just posted. It’s followed by an encouraging comment. Then comes the holy grail of social approval, the “share.”

Do I live for the approval of others? Is my ego so fragile that I crave the pavlovian response of warm fuzzy feelings that result from a like, comment, share, favorite or retweet?

Do you?

What if Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google Plus ceased to exist? Would the human race survive without the habitual behavior we have become accustomed and addicted to in just a few short years?

It’s for this reason that I must leave social media…. even if for just a few hours.

But I just saw a new “Walk off the Earth” video on YouTube. It’s very entertaining and I want to share it with you.

And I just happened to catch my cat in the cutest pose. I’ll want to post that. Perhaps I’ll instagram it at the same time that I pin the picture of the bacon purse I saw on that humor site. I’m sure you’ll all want to see it.

And someone posted an article that I have a very strong opinion about, so I guess I’ll engage and leave a comment.

To make matters worse, the people that I know, like and care about won’t stop posting. It wouldn’t be right for me to ignore them, would it?

In the time that I’ve written this post, I’ve left social media. But now that this article is over, I think I’m ready to jump back in. I’m over it.

[tbpquotable]Nobody really escapes social media.[/tbpquotable]

The online world has become a meaningful, yet flawed, method for interacting, dialoguing, engaging, debating, sharing and experiencing our world and our relationships with others in real time.

It’s not perfect, but it’s the world we live in. I believe it is possible to disconnect, and the day may come where the negatives of social media truly do outweigh the benefits.

But for now, I feel no different than the five-year old who threatens to “run away from home” and doesn’t get any further than three houses down the street. I’m back. And I’m not going anywhere.

Did you miss me?

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What about you?  Do you ever get fed up with social media and feel like walking away from it all? I’d love your comments and feedback below. And, of course, the share buttons at the top are there for you to use as well.

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195 Comments

  1. Dear Mr. Comm,
    I find it ironic, being introduced to you and having read your missive, by a friend’s post on FB. The headline piqued my interest, as well as the short bio. I didn’t know who you were. Naturally, I goggled you.
    You are, apparently, a big time social entrepreneur, having been around since 1995. Good for you and welcome to the realization that we are all just algorithms on the social networks we virtually inhabit.
    I enjoyed what you wrote and have been saying pretty much the same thing for nearly 3+ years. I don’t wish to venture a guess on the ratio of bad vs. good on the net. I’ll leave that to the SEO, aggregation and coding experts, that litter the Social Media landscape.
    I am glad I could click without having to make a purchase, but you’re not really selling anything, are you? Well, that’s debatable, but for another time. It’s always good to find something intelligent and worthwhile, regardless of the source. I was also quite pleased with the responses. In an age where attention spans are less than the wink of an eye, most, if not all of the responses went beyond one line. It’s probably attributable to the format. I believe it bodes well for the future, in this increasingly illiterate and dumb down society.
    Also….It’s all about money. Always was and always will be. This not bad or good, it just is. We all have a choice and we accept or DELETE from those choices. Take reality shows as an example. We don’t watch, no advertising, no money, no show!
    Welcome back, Mr. Comm, to the virtual realm, even though I was not aware you had left, even if only for a few seconds!

    May I leave you and all those that will read this post with a ONE LINER!, that I’ve formulated and have been using for quite some time.

    “NEVER, IN THIS HISTORY OF HUMANKIND, HAVE MORE PEOPLE BEEN CONNECTED AND DISCONNECTED, AT THE SAME TIME”.
    Please feel free to use it, if you are so inclined. I would only ask that you provide an*, when you do.

    P.S. You now have my name and email. It’s required to post a response. We all make choices!

  4. Good to see you might stick around Joel 😉 Social rocks. Until you get burned out. Then it sucks LOL! Then after a break, you engage people, share value, make connections, people call you a rockstar but you do not care, and it rocks again 😉

    Thanks for sharing some keen observations dude!

    Ryan

  5. I agree with you on many points. The thinkers of us…… should attempt to be productive and share the best of social media. In that respect, the trash cannot take over.
    Thanks for your post!

  7. Good for you Joel Comm.

    I take u seriously, always, you look great, with all those
    lbs.still off. You are probably the best, most experienced online *entity* when it comes to being an entrepreneurial being, having done things not anyone before u did. Saturation, saturation. When it comes to *life* as it is now, an online Daily event: well: I did not take u seriously for an instant. It is just as it is, the good, the bad, the uglies, just like people in their own moments in time complained about other *new* things: electricity, a train!, cars were not here to stay. Call it *evolution*, i.e. acc. to Darwin: survival of the fittest. Will FB stay? or Google? I believe they shall, and like u: I feel like that: pff. All *that* jazz*, I just love my own life, my grandchildren, my pets. These days I either *Skype*, also professionally, great. And when I see something I think is extremely educationally right: I do *share*, click,click, through Twitter, straight through to FB, where all peeking what their *elder* is now up to are peeking, even click on *like*, then I SMILE. Why? Then I have at least reached someone, WHO just might start THINKING about their elder’s messages. When I still *talked* (p2p), people were only interested in how they could make millions through my consultant’s hours of advise. That worked for many of them. These days: I no longer have to *work* for the bread & butter, and honestly – it is the best. I can say what I like,provided I use proper decent prose of course. And before I *say* anything online: I have just spent the last 22 years of my life *learning* how to survive on a completely changed planet, which makes me a lot wiser than those not that busy with such EARTH(y)issues.
    Note: You are someone, your EGO is a healthy one I believe and keeping it all closer-to-next-of-kin + friends: they shall always *comment*, interested in YOU and how you are, think, feel. Bless you and your lovely spouse.

  10. Great post! When I was a little girl, I, too ran away. I packed a “hobo” sack with a few things, tied it on a stick and started up the street. My mother came after me and lovingly asked me to come back home. Please know, had you really decided to leave social media, we would have come after you and asked you to please stay. After all, we enjoy your company.

  13. Interesting read. I have seen several of your postings in the past, but have yet to comment on any, until now. For years I viewed social media as little more than a distraction to real life, and I have always chosen to live in the real world, not some fantasy that others tell me to believe in. Until 4 years ago, I didn’t even have a Facebook acct, much less any thing else. I think I played with myyearbook and myspace a bit, but never took any of it seriously. Now that I am blogging though, I have found that social media is a way to get my postings out there and get some readers (such as it is, it is very slow going when it comes to getting readers. Or maybe I’m doing something wrong), and while it is a learning curve, I do get frustrated with Social Media, since there is so much out there, that I think people should really think about before they post things.

  14. You truly are a master of creating dialogue. Your commitment is impressive….I would volunteer to leave social media, but I am not convinced I have totally joined it. Perhaps(?) I have reached an age where I choose to live in a land of old technologies and grumpily, disdainfully, adopt the new ones in a state of resignation rather than embrace. A well written article….and perhaps THAT is the missing piece, not just for social media, but for ALL media. Thanks for writing something that compelled me to engage. Clever.

  16. Wonderful post! I, too, have this same argument with myself on a daily basis. I could almost feel the anxiety in my ten-year-old self when I packed a bag and climbed on my mustard and tan bike, only to realize I had nowhere else to go. Thanks for the honesty. 🙂

  17. I just read YOUR post “How I Got 500 Facebook Shares of My Blog Post”.

    Naturally I had to come back and read this AGAIN.

    Masterfully done.

    YOU tied in something controversial, popular and at the same time you related to how many of us feel.

    Thanks for the lesson.

  18. Loved this! I’m not a great fan of social media and use it rather rarely, even to promote by blog. It’s fine for personal use, but a pain to use to share posts and connect with other bloggers. It mostly feels artificial, and like an empty noise and mess of shares and likes. There’s rarely real debate going on there. Although Twitter is great for demonstrations, as many examples from the last few years have proven!

  19. So glad you didn’t leave. I already get irritated when all the people who do post good stuff decide to leave or “fast” social media leaving those of us who cannot so easily unplug (me for business reasons) with all the Walmart-esque, dramafied posts from the people who really do need to leave. Not condemning anyone that needs to unplug. Just wish that the people with their baby-mama/daddy drama would feel inspired to do so sometimes. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

  20. When I need a break, I turn off ALL notifications. Browser toolbars too. It’s amazing how liberating that can be — I would say I do that once a week. And for some channels, I never turn the notifications back on.

    On the other hand, I can see why people stop cold turkey, a la Baratunde, for a certain period of time, or abandon certain channels indefinitely (I left Facebook twice, for almost a year each time. Didn’t shut down my account, just stopped going there.) With the increase of the social tools, there isn’t a lot of increase in information about how to keep it from taking over your life, LOL.

  21. My initial comment when reading your title was: “You are a brave soul.”

    Yes, social media eats up about three to five hours of my day, but as you said, it’s my business. As an author, it’s my best way to communicate with thousands of readers. I know some authors won’t chat, but I will. If a reader or an aspiring author asks me a question–if I see it–I’ll respond.

    And though I’ll rarely talk about my personal life–other than my coffee addiction–I have been known to share a cute cat pic or a writing meme.

    I’m here for my readers and no other reason. Yes, I want them to buy my books, but even if they don’t, even if they just ask a question about writing, I’ll answer. So hopefully, I’m using social media for what is was intended: socialize and share.

    Fun post! Thank you for sharing.

  22. Hi Joel,

    I’m a new reader of yours, and I’m glad I saw this post. The point that resonated most for me was the ‘meanness’. As a teacher (ok, a somewhat sensitive, over-protective teacher) the part that’s most difficult to watch is how teens are just as unkind as adults on social media. And you’re absolutely right, they’re mean (people of all ages) because there are no consequences.

  23. I’ve been twittering for longer than I can remember yet I’m doing it less and less. What used to be a fun interaction is now accounts that are preset to post at certain times with promotional information. No time for chatting…too many channels to manage!

    I leave social media every single day…and my phone too. I hate the culture that has been produced by those two mediums; ‘Hello…I’m right here in front of you; what are you doing on your phone?’ It seems that ‘social’ media has made us all less social. Hmm?

    I did chuckle at your comment about social media experts. I showed a group of people how to use Twitter about 5 or 6 years ago and noticed the next week that one of the attendees had changed her bio to include ‘Social Media Expert.’ Really? The week before she had never heard of Tweetdeck! 🙂

  24. Joel,

    Thank you for your post. I have been considering that sites like facebook have had sort of “stockholm syndrome”effect on a lot of its users. Its worth has become a foregone conclusion which no one questions.
    I recently unfriended someone. I have gotten to the point where I really don’t have time to sift through everyone’s favorite restaurant of their kid’s soccer success. Worse yet, as you point out, I have seen family dramas played out on facebook and it the worst way you can handle what might be a family crisis. I guess we all want our cry in the wilderness to be heard. For me, I am constantly pruning my friends list so I can see only the information that is relevant for me.
    When I unfriended this particular person they were very offended. I explained to this person that as a professional contact, all of our meaningful interactions would be taking place through email since face book is a lousy system for sending large amounts of text. The person was still offended. When I pointed out that once we using email and not facebook, we would actually be working together and the process of collaboration would be in full swing. Still offended.
    I don’t think I could get the point across that not being facebook friends did not constitue a rejection or “demotion”. What passes for meaningful dialogue on fb is often just a brain dump. It’s not constructive for any kind of professional collaboration. There are situations where fb is useless (gasp, who said that?!).
    Thank you for your thoughts. I think we need to scale back and use social media for the things most meaningful to us and not base our worth on how many “friends” we have.

  25. Great post ! So true on all accounts, my own mother who has had a Facebook account for less than a year to follow family members has removed her account several times only to return days later. Her reason was she thought she was being overloaded with data and even more information than she cared to know about the younger family members, only a few short months and she had a digital meltdown.

  28. I am relatively new to all this, but I had a modicum of success with visits to my site in July. Suddenly I was checking multiple social media sites constantly (Twitter, Facebook, Triberr, Tumblr, Reddit, Headliner, et al) and getting quite obsessed by it.

    Then I went for a week’s holiday with my family and i didn’t touch a social media site for over a month. How did I feel? Well, I felt no compulsion to visit said sites, and I chose not to care whether people (strangers) liked me, shared my content, viewed me as an influencer, or anything else.

    Take regular breaks would be my advice. Spending a week away from pseudo-reality is no bad thing.

    Great article.

  29. I hear you. I actually took a 2 week break from all things that are SoMe and blog related. I didn’t even touch the computer for a full week. It.Was.GLORIOUS!

    However a situation with another forced me back and I really wish I had just told her to forget it ’cause you know what? I still have a week left of my SoMe break and what AM I doing leaving a comment?!

    I’ll finish this next week.
    ~Honey 🙂

  31. I was intrigued and impressed to read all the righteous and principled arguments a respected new media marketing expert wrote about the dark underbelly and often meaningless noise of social media and what it in some cases is negatively doing to us. Then at the end you just popped right back with a “just kidding, I’m addicted” ending? How very … cynical? disingenuous?

    At the end of your piece I felt used by the very pandering tactics (from the bait-and-switch headline to the invitation to comment) that can make this brave new media hollow in the first place … Well you got our clicks and thus asserted your expertise. Feel good?

    Blech.

    More used cars for sale.

  32. Honestly, if you want to leave the social media, just do it and don’t write an article about it….
    I might be a weirdo but I don’t have a facebook account or an instragram account or even a twitter account. I use internet every days but if i want to share sth with my family or friends, usually I don’t have to post it online. I don’t understand why so many people have to write articles like “Watch out!!! I am leaving the social media!! – Oh never mind, I just changed my mind”

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