If I Was God

Byjoel

What would you do if you were God?

We’re talking about the Supreme Being; the Almighty; the Alpha and Omega; the Big Cheese; the Head Honcho; the Man in the Sky. You get the picture.

Many of us behave as though we are God. We erroneously think the world revolves around us. Trust me, I’ve been there before.

But if you had all of eternity on your hands and were just hanging out by yourself in infinite space, what would you do?

The first you could do is absolutely nothing. Just hang out and admire the nothingness.

But that would get boring pretty darned quickly.

So you might think of creating some stuff.

What to create… hmmmm…

How about filling the space with hamsters. You can never have too many hamsters.

Well, I suppose maybe you can have too many hamsters. Besides, if there was nothing but hamsters can you imagine the mess?

Alright, so back to vast and infinite space with no time constraints.

Let’s make something out of matter.

Stars and planets could be a good place to start. Swirling galaxies would rock, especially ones that others would never get to see. Oh wait.. there are no others. Yet.

I suppose as God you could create all kinds of fancy pieces of planets and masses of gases (is this turning into a Dr. Seuss story?)

But even that would get old. And you would still be stuck with yourself. Boring.

I guess what you do next would depend on what kind of God you were.

Are you a malevolent being seeking to wreak havoc on your own creation like a toddler playing with matches?

Are you a non-committed being who would put things in motion and then walk away without a care?

Or would you be a loving God that is interested in just doing good?

Personally, I would opt for the latter. A loving God would be a good choice. Because if I wasn’t a loving God I can’t imagine how any of my creation would have the capacity to love. (Of course at this point I wouldn’t have created any beings… stay with me.)

I think of it this way. I’m all alone. I am by my very character “love”. So what do I long for more than anything else?

Why someone to love, of course! I’m totally all about relationship.

That’s it. I’m decided.

I will create a chunk of rock and make it habitable for life. Life. I like the sound of it. In fact, I just made it up.

To make the rock a place where life can thrive and flourish, I’ll put some things in place. Let’s see, water, sky, land, a sun, a moon and an orbital path to keep things moving.

But I’ve got to be careful. If I place it to close to the sun, everything will fry. And if I place the rock too far from the sun, everything will freeze. That’s okay. I’m God and I have it all figured out. You think Rainman could do calculations in his head? Pffft. Nothing to it.

Now we bring on the life. Oh, this will be fun!

Grass. Flowers. Trees.

Birds. Cows. Hamsters. (You had to know those would resurface, right?)

This little rock of mine is absolutely teaming with life! I’m a pretty-darned good Creator if I do say so myself.

But now, it’s time for the coup-de-grace. This is the moment I have been waiting for. When I speak this next bit into existence I’m going to do something that even impresses myself.

I’m going to put a bit of my divine spark IN my creation! Yeah, I think it’s pretty clever if I do say so myself.

And so I create a living being in my own image. I’ll call him “man.” That way I can say to him, “Hey man, what’s up?”

He appears and looks a bit puzzled. He’s got that “Um, who am I and what am I doing here” look about him.

I introduce myself and it’s all he can do to contain his joy. He’s thinking, “So you are my Creator and you want to hang with me? Cool!”

I just LOVE this little fellas! He’s intelligent, creative, fun, industrious and so much more.

He goes on to check out the funky critters I have made. But I notice there is something wrong.

The man says, “So I’m pretty impressed by everything you’ve made. I mean, that huge grey critter with the trunk is pretty awesome. These trees are really tall. And the mountains? Whoa. Dude. Seriously massive! But what’s with this fuzzy, purring thing walking around my legs?”

To which I would reply, “Oops.”

But seriously, as the man continues to look at the creatures he realizes something is missing. There is not ONE creature there to cook him a meal or do his laundry! (It’s a joke, ladies…)

Actually, what the man discovers is that he is the only one of his kind. And even though I’m hanging out with him, he feels a bit lonely.

“I can fix that,” says I. Because I can fix anything, you know.

Man takes a nap and I do a little parlor trick. Turns out I put an extra rib in him. He won’t miss it. Ala-kazam!

Man awakens and sees this incredibly beautiful creature standing next to him. This creature is like him, yet it is somewhat different.

It is softer, for one thing. It has these wonderful big eyes and thick lips. And, the body on this creature is the most amazing thing Man has ever seen!

He takes one look and shrieks, “Whoa! Man!”

I laugh and take great pleasure in his discovery. And I’m good with the whole “woman” name if thats what he wants. The two of them take to each other like cheese and crackers, salt and pepper, and government and corruption.

And like that, my work is done. I’m pleased with my efforts. It’s perfect. So I think I’ll chill out for a bit, letting these two get to know each other better.

I tell them that I am here for them any time. I really enjoy their company and they really enjoy mine. We can hang out and talk about whatever they want. Plus, they like coming to me because the pure love that is Me fills them with everything they could ever want, need or desire.

But before I go, I remind them that I am God and they are not. And I warn them that everything I have is theirs with one exception.

I placed a tree smack dab in the middle of their paradise and told them to stay away from it. If they picked the fruit from this tree, things would go very bad.

I HAD to come up with something to put there. And I had to give them some way to get in trouble.

After all, I wasn’t interested in creating robots that would do whatever I told them to do. What is the satisfaction in having a robot do what you ask?

So I came up with an interesting concept which I called “free will.”

Since I am love, I want my creation to have a choice in whether they love me back. No loving being can force another to love in return.

The tree with the fruit was there amongst all the awesome stuff I created just so I could give man and woman an opportunity to exercise their free will.

Of course, I knew what would happen. Whenever you give free will to a living thing it inevitably will choose to exercise its autonomy. It’s okay. I’m not surprised.

Sure, it hurts me that they choose to eat the fruit I forbade them to eat. But it will be that much more beautiful when they come back to me and say they are sorry.

And I have a plan. I will populate the entire rock with millions and millions of men and women. All of them will be born not knowing where they came from. Scores of them will see little more than what is before their eyes. They will be very similar to the man and the woman who choose to disobey me.

But many of them will recognize my handiwork and seek me out. And when they seek me they will find me. I just want them to look because I’m not that hard to find.

I’ll give them opportunities to recognize my love. I’ll even do some cool stuff that they’ve never seen before.

Unfortunately, it won’t matter. They will still miss the point.

And in missing the point they strive against each other. The fight, bicker, quarrel, steal and wreak general havoc with each other’s lives.

They know that something is wrong… something is missing in their lives.

But rather than look to me to fill what is missing, they turn to anything and everything as a substitute.

Drugs, alcohol, food, work, television, video games, and even each other. They somehow believe that they can push these things into the hole that is designed for only Me to fill. Whatevs…

Sigh… I guess there’s only one way to get through to them.

I’m going to have to go down to teach them a few things about love and sacrifice.

This part won’t be easy…

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88 Comments

  2. Joel,
    Thank you for posting this. I look forward to reading your next post.
    To the few who responded by disputing the reality of creationism & the existence of a living God …
    If you choose to believe that creationism is false and God does not exist, then by default you believe in evolution, right?
    The whole idea behind evolution is that one day matter collided and life forms began to evolve, right?
    Ok, I suppose that’s possible but I have a question for you:
    Where did the matter come from that collided?
    I’ve had several atheists tell me that they refuse to believe in God because they’ve never seen Him. But yet they choose to believe that somehow matter magically appeared out of nowhere and decided to collide. And from that life began to evolve … interesting! 🙂
    Just something to think about!
    Keep going Joel – you’re doing great!
    Mark

  4. Hi Joel,
    This is different. Like it.One thing, as you know God only made man and woman.Those millions and millions were made by God differently from the way of the first man and woman.Would you not say they know where they came from?

  5. Joel,I wonder how much americans are religious in 2010!!
    In some part of Europe 50% is sceptic;90% world scientists is atheist; after Darwin(150y ago!!) how can you belief in this ancient-human legend? only to feel happyness?; we live in universe dark, blind , feelingless; the unique immanent-spirituality zone is human brain that succeed in create abstractions, culture, sentiments, dreams ( also auto-illusion like religion)to live better. Sorry for tell that- i don’t like this reality, but is our reality- I would prefer God, Santa claus,resurrection, paradise etc..i apologize speaking globish

  6. Enjoyed all the time you had to accomplish your project. It’s too bad that self awareness of our surroundings is not recognized by many people. Isn’t it sad when you need to take somebody by the hand in order for them to hopefully get something accomplished in life.
    I liked your write-up Joel.
    Thanks
    John Antaya

  7. Nice story, Joel. You did good stuff until the end where you referred to the need for “sacrifice”. In spite of centuries of teachings to the contrary, I do not believe in human sacrifice of any kind, including self-sacrifice. Neither does God.

  9. First of all, God would thump Joel for missing the subjunctive tense:
    It should be “If I *were* God” — not “If I was God”…
    ‘Cause God hates sloppy grammar.
    So I see Joel is always a step ahead of us. This time he’s already planning his move from Internet Marketing Guru to Televangelist, where the real “sucker born every minute” fortunes are made.

  10. @Neil…..”consider the possibility that you could be tragically wrong…”……I consider the possibility all the time; though I seriously doubt the consequences will be tragic. The real ‘tragedy’ in my view, is the inability to consider any other points of view at all……Such is my free will…

  11. Well Joel,
    For a minute I really believed you had gone a little mad there, but I loved this post. As usual, something different to keep us amused and let us break for the norm, Cheers, Stephen.

  12. Joel, well done. I took a similar change in path in my newsletter a few years ago. I lost thousands of subscribers along the way, but the few that remain are steadfast and loving. I’d love to hear your testimony sometime. — Steven

  13. Unfortunately, we do not have the length, breath, or depth of understanding to know why or the mysteries
    of what, who, why or when ??
    –
    What was the mark of Cain ?
    Who was in the land of Nod ?
    When did God create the different races of man ?
    Why does God let Satin visit heaven ?
    –
    If I came to visit you, wore a mask, used a ladder to enter by the second story of your house, what would you do ?
    You mean you have rules for me to come to you and visit ?
    Suprise, so does God. He also told us about the rules, and left them for us.
    –
    Thank you
    falcon

  15. DAMN! That sounds so eerily like what might have REALLY happened, the Big Bang Theory & all !
    I could imagine that The Almighty ACTUALLY thought of Life as you said it.
    Great post, Joel! You make me laugh, you make me think. If I could write half as well as you do, I’d be a very content person…

  16. If I was God, I would stop…rape(victims range from infants to grandmothers), any/all malevolent, genocidal, infanticidal, mysogynistic acts. I would give mankind freewill…up to the point where they start to hurt each other or themselves. I do this with my children now. I`m far from being an all powerful, all loving , all knowing, perfect being, but I truly love and care about “my children” enough to do this for them.

  17. Great sharing about what we miss most in our lives. God and His Love. Life is not about work, money, status or power. We must find time to reflect upon who we are, for what purpose we are here. Your sincerity to share this helped me at a time when myself is doubting God’s direction for me.
    Thanks, Joel.

  19. Thanks Joel, my sentiments exactly. The ‘free will’ allows me to worship whom ever I like, (& that is the God of Abraham, Jacob & Issac)and also work at creating things out of ‘things already created’, & being an affiliate marketer is as creative as any one with a hammer, or growing a food crop. We supply people what they want & we are rewarded for the effort – we take responsibility for ourselves.
    Again, thanks, keep up the good walk.
    Cheers & God bless.
    Michael

  20. Well this is a DEEP subject. First I would be sure that the babies are loved without harm. No wars, stealing or murders because everyone would be working. Doing jobs that filled their passion. The churches would be filled with people that respect God and what is being taught. But I know that is a dream because it was so perfect, we would be in the Garden of Eden Right?

  22. I personally wouldn0t like to be God. Being God would drive anyone crazy because you would just keep trying to fix everything and you can’t, It would take forever and you would still not be able to make a perfect world.

  23. Ummm… what??? Ok, Yes, I went to church for 28 years or more… But what? And that’s how I feel about all these courses and learnings and internet SEO’s, etc. etc. I have been at it for years and finally it’s starting to come together, but still no business. I have spent every dime on my work to get the word out about the new understanding that I teach in my course for male to female communication!
    But still no business, yet other guys are making millions.
    I’ve sold it marketed my biz in every way possible. From Teaching married men how to save their relationship to teaching single guys how to meet single girls. Men simply don’t’ want to learn how to communicate with women….
    I simply don’t get it!
    Sincerely!
    Mike!

  25. If I would be god I would create sadistic system for my entertainment. In this system you are forced to kill living things below you, in order to live. At the same time you need to run for your life of stronger living things, otherwise you will be punished with death, and you won’t have any children. Wait a moment, such a system already exists, and its called the food chain. Thank you loving god! 🙂

  27. Thanks Joel,
    This is fresh and simple way to look at God and people. I have reached out to God this year asking for his guidance and direction. I have asked for his blessing of faith…and a number of other things.I look forward to a more meaningful connection with God and all that comes with it….

  28. Thanks Joel thats the god thing out the way then, this posts got me thinking. Examples to many to mention but good blog requires good old homemade content, I give this a go some point today or soon anyway.

  31. Joel,
    I’ve always found the creation stories of the different religions to be fascinating. People can say what they will, but all the creation stories have enough commonalities that it’s hard to totally discount the possibility.
    It’s impossible for me to believe that we sprung forth out of nothingness. SOMETHING had to start the whole thing going.
    I personally don’t buy into the whole dichotomy of Creationism vs. Evolution, because I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive principles.
    Evolution only addresses the propagation of lifeforms, not the creation.
    Do you think it’s possible that Evolution could be viewed as a tool that God uses to keep creation growing and improving?

  33. I would probably create a world where only acts of kindness, helpfulness and loving would be rewarded. Acts of deceitfulness, criminality, deception etc. would be punished by making the individual transparent. The more persistent they continue to be in their behaviour, will eventually lead to their own demise; they will simply fade away from existence. With the proviso that, the more serious the act of bad intention would accelerate the rate of their own demise. However, acts of kindness etc would restore them, eventually, to their original selves. Thats all for now, going to get back to my chemistry set, new life to create etc.

  35. i havnt leave any comment on any of your works as yet but halving read this script of yours fully,i lelieve there is a need to share these ideas with the out side world.
    Its beautiful to have such a concept.Am trying to create a world in my community (village)to try and share the same view with.
    please do try and send such scripts to the world christian coucil and world muslim council.
    with this i believe their will be peach.of coure we all want to be God but how.
    from the Gambia Wafrica

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