Me Too
There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way because my intentions are pure.
But someone needs to tell you. Since I have your attention, I believe I am the right guy for the job.
Are you sitting down? It might be best if you were.
Are you ready? Here it goes…
You are screwed up.
You make mistakes. Sometimes you make bad choices. Sometimes you hurt other people with your words or your actions. Sometimes you have regrets and wish you could make things right… but you can’t.
You are deeply human and deeply flawed.
You might make other people think you’ve got it all together, but you know the truth.
Sometimes you lay awake at night worried about your business, your family and your health. You just can’t sleep.
Sometimes you beat yourself up for that thing you did which plagues your thoughts and fears. What if they knew? What if they found out?
Sometimes you find ways to self-medicate from the trials or pain you carry. What is it? Drugs? Alcohol? Food? Sex? Television? The Internet? Relationships?
Your pain may not even be the result of your own choices. It doesn’t take but one person to have hurt you deeply for you to withdraw into your own method of coping.
Let’s face it. Most of our parents were screwed up as well. How many screwed up parents does it take to raise a screwed up child?
But the bottom line is still the same. You are screwed up. And that’s just the way it is.
All this may sound harshly accusatory and horribly judgmental. I understand why you would feel that way.
But there’s no need to get all defensive with me. After all, I may as well be looking into a mirror as I say this. Because when I say you are screwed up, I have to add one statement in order to make it complete.
“Me too”
I, too, am just a human being. I, too, know what it is like to experience pain, loss, betrayal and grief. I, too, know what it is like to carry shame for actions or words of the past, or to feel the consequences of someone else’s choices.
Some of us are better at putting on a good face, but inside we all struggle with similar feelings and emotions.
What do the President of the United States and the homeless guy on the corner have in common? Both are fully human and both are flawed. And whether either would admit it publicly or not, they both experience not only the positive human emotions such as happiness, but also the negative emotions such as sadness and fear.
And you know what?
It’s all good.
In fact, recognizing our “shadow” self is a healthy part of self-actualization. I believe it’s only when a person can admit their flaws and embrace the full of their humanity that they can become free to pour out their lives for others.
Life is beautiful! From the first breath of the newborn baby and the wonder of an elderly couple clinging to each other in their final days to the wonder of the human body and the majestic nature that surrounds us, we are all blessed and fortunate to be alive!
Life is good! There is such great reward in sucking the marrow out of our days, experiencing the joy of touching other’s lives in a positive manner and being free to be exactly who we are… no more and no less.
Just because we are flawed doesn’t mean we aren’t valuable and worthy.
Just because we have failed at business, in relationships or in achieving goals doesn’t mean we can’t grow.
And just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a second chance.
You ARE valuable. You CAN grow. And you DO deserve a second chance!
I often visit a church in Northern Colorado where “Me too” is the mantra of the congregation. A group of people unafraid to admit their flaws and failings, they are in good company with each other. In fact, all are welcome to a church where we can openly confess such things and say “me too.”
And that’s where I got the t-shirt. 🙂
We live in a beautiful world. But we also live in a world with a great deal of pain. While there are a select few who live a charmed life with very few trials, none of us are immune to the more challenging realities of life.
Yes, I am screwed up and sometimes I fail. But screwed up doesn’t mean beyond repair. It’s doesn’t mean unsalvageable. And it doesn’t mean unteachable.
The key is to learn from our mistakes and attempt not to repeat them. Besides, why repeat the same old mistakes when there are so many new mistakes to make!
Like you, I have my own worries, fears and doubt. I am deeply flawed.
And I am fully human.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
How about you? The comments form below invites your thoughts, feelings and opinions. I’d love to hear from you… warts and all. 🙂
Me Too.
Love that church, have called it home for over 4 years now.
Me too Joel! Thanks for a great post – it’s often hard to say and you’ve said it brilliantly.
“I too.”
SUPERB blog post, Sir Joel!
Martin
P.S. Forgive the Queen’s english my mother beat into me, along with the grammar. 😉
Joel, Thank you! One of the most profound articles I’ve read in a long time.
Best regards, George
Great inspiring post Joel…and not a single shred of marketing involved. Ok I’ll say it – Me Too. I am flawed big time. But I always forge ahead.
There is only one person who is perfect.
Beautiful! The world’s infatuation with the pursuit of perfection leads to nothing but trouble. Young (and even not so young) people see Photoshopped pictures and think they have to be perfect. When they can’t achieve it, their self-esteem sinks.
The internet, for all its glory, makes it even harder because there is, literally, a world of people there – ready and willing – to jump on someone for the slightest error, whether it’s a mistype, lapse in judgement, or (e gads!) a misspelled word.
I think God showed us so many flawed people in the Bible on purpose, to remind us that we’re all human, we all have shortcomings, we all blow it, and – YES! – we’re all screwed up.
David was a man after God’s own heart, but he messed up royally. If he’d been President, today, the media would have ripped him a new one, but God used him mightily.
Great article, great reminder!
To Err is Human, to Forgive is Divine. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is ourselves for the mistakes we make.
If I didn’t make all those bad decisions…I wouldn’t have learned all the lessons I have and become the person, mother & daughter I am today.
Old Adam really screwed it up for all of us but as long as you can see the beauty in each day especially in the things around us (that’s not already screwed up by us), you’ll survive and can even be happy.
I was abused as a child but just like some animals grow a new limb you can grow a new life. That is on of the most useful abilities God gave us and that is to adapt, retrain and go on with the best life you can possibly have.
The only problem with most of us is that you and only you can ignite that spark to be better than you were. You have every tool you need at your disposal. You just need to use it.
You are worthy. You are worth it and you are the master of your own destiny. Be happy.
You hit me at just the right time with this Joel. Thank You. – Me too. I really appreciate it.
I’m touched and moved by this post. Thanks for the inspiration Joel! 🙂
Dear Joel
excellent article
there is a sanskrit poem which starts like this
“Look not at my evil nature O God,
For Thy name O God is same sightedness,
Make us both of the same Soul..”
love
vish
Mistakes are lessons and valuable ones. Some of the worst are the best lesson!
Every life has a trial/s, Joel. No one is exempted…no matter how charmed their life appears to others. Don’t take flaws as negative. Flawless people are boring.
I blundered many times, made errors in judgement, and lost valuable time looking back. In 2013 I declared it was the year to ‘care not to care’ and I look forward only and it has been quite liberating….thanks for putting this in perspective for people and giving me a reminder to keep my mantra alive.
I am flawed AND have weaknesses. However, it is in my weakness that another kind of strength shows up! Great post.
J.
“The key is to learn from our mistakes and attempt not to repeat them.”
That’s really pulling your punches, Joel. As a Christian you know that the real key is dealing with the sinfulness that we’re all born with, and the alienation from our Creator that this causes.
God came to Earth as a man, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and rose again the third day. Whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.
Our real problem is this sin and separation from God, and the real solution is two-fold:
1. Being born again, that is, to be given a new heart, a new nature by God, as a free gift.
2. Believing in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, whereupon we have all our sins forgiven, past, present and future. This gives us peace with God, our Creator.
Then the very Spirit of God lives in us, and can produce fruit — what the Bible calls the Fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.
Jesus said that whoever comes to Him, He will in no way cast out or refuse. Whoever WILL come to Him, MAY come to Him. No exceptions. No one is so “screwed up” that He will not forgive them if they come to Him.
He said He is the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, and that no one can come to the Father except through Him.
Of course some will scoff at this, even be angered at the audacity of saying that Jesus is the only way. So be it. It’s true.
The loving thing is to speak the truth in love.
Learning from our mistakes and not repeating them is not enough. To paraphrase Jesus himself, “What does it profit a man if he learns from his mistakes, but loses his soul?”
As the song says, “People Need The Lord”. We need a Savior.
Me too. 🙂
Well said Joel. One of my favorite current songs is from Matthew West and I encourage everyone to listen to or read the lyrics. It’s called, “Hello My Name is” and it starts out with this.
Hello, my name is regret I’m pretty sure we have met Every single day of your life I’m the whisper inside That won’t let you forget . . . These are the voices, these are the lies And I have believed them, for the very last time.
It’s a great reminder of the fact that, as you stated, we are all flawed. To me it’s a reminder to accept people with all their baggage and try to understand it and support them through this thing called life.
Excellent! Pontius Pilate asked Christ, “What is Truth?” This pretty much sums it up. There was only one man who ever walked the Earth who was perfect.
Me, too! Wow! What a great post, Joel. Thankfully, God gave us the ability to choose to start over. Unlimited Mulligans!
Thanks Joel. Deep breath and forward. Great article. (wish i could write like that)
I love this post. Have not read something like this from business people for a long while now.Thanks for the the reminder and motivation. Now to my question. I want to start a website or blog that will be publishing seminars and trainings on a daily basis. I intend to do it by meeting a vendor pay him some money and copy all the seminar and training published in different newspapers here in my country Nigeria. That way will be cheaper than buying all the papers. I buy newspapers a lot and what I check mostly are for seminar and trainings no matter the type. I learnt a lot have from attending these seminar.Presently I’m attending another one on Enterpreneurship which is free and mind opening, sponsored by Universal Parcel Service . Besides some are either subsidized or free but most people do not know and the newspaper here does not publish paid trainings and seminars adverts in their online platform because they don’t sell their news online.Infact the blackberry I’m using to send this massage was given to me free with 1 year internet subscription in one of such empowerment seminars. Do you see it as a great idea that will work. Please how can you help me to get it done fast with the litle resources I have. I can help to market your products and services here in Nigeria if you don’t mind. Arinze from Nigeria
Why Joel?!? Why?
I guess it’s time to admit “Me too.” (-;
That was fantastic!! My thoughts exactly!
Thank you for this article! It really hit the spot!!!!! How did you know I needed to hear these things? You made my day!!!!
Thank you, thank you. I must share it!!!!!
Me too! I could have not said it any better than what you just said right here on this post.
Thanks Joel!
Bob
Once again a great post. It connected with my journey in many ways. Had to laugh at the line “its all good”. That was my status this week on Empire Ave.
Some way and where you crossed my online path. I knew it was something to stop and listen to. So glad I did. Now I have enjoyed your essays, your products and inspiration to keep me growing, writing, learning and building my business.
Thanks,
For all the Mistakes and failures! Without them Me Too would not be as far down the road as I have gotten!
Good judgment comes from experience, which comes from poor judgment.
Me to0.
Wonderful blog post, Joel and just what I needed for today. Blessings!
second chance, sometimes, is granted. Same with good luck. Good luck is nothing but a granted favour by Gods or a person/ persons. No matter how much effort we put in, how much or little we know, at the end, it is still who we know and who accepts what we know that amount to our luck…… screwed, yes…….. long awaiting my 32nd chance…..
Thanks, Terry. The truth of the Scriptures well said! God bless you.
Appreciating another timely post as I just had this conversation with a friend. Thank you.
Enjoyed the post Joel, if everyone had that mentality probably a world would be better, of course you’d have still problems, but it would be better!
What a perfect post for me today.
Even though I know I’m human and my experiences in this world is common to others – I can so easily get down on myself.
Just the message I needed!
P.S. I want that shirt 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it!