My Week without Facebook
Social media has become an integral part of my daily life. Like millions of others, I confess that I am guilty of checking in on my Facebook friends regularly throughout the day. Seeing what others are up to, updating my own status, sharing links and joining the conversation is as natural to my day as eating and sleeping.
So when the end of the year approached and I decided to take a vacation, I decided my vacation would also include a break from social media. It was likely that my destination would provide wifi, but I pledged to refrain from visiting Facebook, including my private messages, for the entire week.
My last post on Facebook as I went off into the sunset was this image.
Once posted, I left the site and decided to not return until my vacation had ended. I have some thoughts about my week without Facebook and I’ve decided to write this blog entry on my return flight BEFORE I go back to Facebook. I don’t want my thoughts tainted by what I discover when I return.
1) It was easier to relax and enjoy my vacation without thinking about posting photos, writing status updates or engaging with others on the site. Once I overcame the first urge to post a photo from my location, I just let it go and felt like I was able to connect with the experience in the here and now. And there’s the takeaway.
[tbpquotable]We often are so eager to share our experience with others that we don’t fully appreciate the moment.[/tbpquotable]
2) Being gone over a holiday, New Year’s Eve in particular, was interesting. I’m sure Facebook was absolutely littered with celebratory wishes of a happy 2015. I was not part of the online festivities in any regard. Any wishes toward me were met with silence; not even a like. Did anyone feel offended? I really don’t know, but I suspect there are those who wondered why I didn’t return the niceties. What did I learn from this? I’ve made a practice of letting go of what others’ think of me. Recognizing that my silence could be misinterpreted was one thing. Releasing others’ perceptions and conclusions as “not my problem” was quite freeing. Besides, anyone that was really curious would have investigated my personal page to discover the announcement that I was going dark on Facebook for the week.
3) My Private Message inbox must be full of unread messages. As stated above, there may be those who may think I am being insensitive by not replying to their message. Someone may even be hurt. The fact is, I haven’t seen your message. We engage at the speed of typing today. So no reply could easily be misconstrued to infer “I don’t care.” But it’s just not the case.
4) I don’t feel the need to share my week with anyone. It’s all mine. There won’t be any reports of where I went. I won’t be posting any photos or videos of my experience. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Bupkis. I’ve learned that my personal privacy is one of my highest values. [tbpquotable]I share parts of my life in the social space, but I also hold tightly to my personal space.[/tbpquotable] I’ve learned how to set healthy boundaries for my self and it’s empowering to transfer similar boundaries in places where I share my persona publicly.
5) I missed you all just a bit! I’m so used to reading your updates, enjoying your photos and videos, and reading the interesting and entertaining comments you post on my wall. In fact, here’s a true confession. I’m so programmed to check Facebook on my phone just after I check my mail, twice I automatically clicked the app and it launched. I immediately panicked and thought, “That’s Facebook! NOOOOO!” I didn’t wait for anything to load. I just shut down the app right away. There were multiple other instances where I ALMOST launched the app but caught myself. Phew. Close call.
Going without Facebook helped me realize that I am not hopelessly addicted to social media. I can make the choice to disconnect if I want to and I don’t feel this incredibly strong pull. However, I also know that I really LIKE being connected with my friends! The way we engage has been so transformed that I truly enjoy the experience.
I really appreciated my week away. It felt like I was on a secret government mission and I wasn’t allowed to discuss my bureau assignment with anyone.
But I am eager to say hello to everyone and enter the conversation once again. And I do wonder… did you miss me?
Cool. I left facebook for 3 months, i felt no pull to check in at all, but I did let folks know about my decision and asked who would like to keep in touch….about 1% of my ‘friends’ responded. ive just, yesterday reactivated my profile but only because i want to continue posting on my page. I’ve also relinked instagram to facebook…again for business purposes. I really havent missed it, and i gained an extra 2-3 hours a day to connect ‘real’ people and read books. so, yes I’m back on but not….however, I’m afraid I do have a new addiction….instagram 😉
I believe that I need some private time away from social media and some private time and that time is my business and is my privacy. I loved your lessons and I agree with it. I promised myself that Sundays will be no Facebook and as you see I am not keeping it today. I also believe that even when you use it for business there must be a time limit and I am working on that, like one hour in the morning and maybe half an hour in the afternoon, so the rest of the day can be on concentrating what is important. I believe someone is going to catch up on this problem and they will be teaching how to use social media properly and how to plan your day around it. Thank you, and I am happy you had some private time.
Joel, you don’t have to ask. Of course you were missed. I have said on several occasions how I love your adventures into all manner of things including your gig as an Uber Driver.
It amuses me to no end how you can post an obtuse comment that may be completely open ended and get hundred of posts as I observe and imagine your Klout score rising. You’ve done a stellar job at creating your Brand, attracting many followers of anything and everything Joel Comm.
You’ve written some terrific books and “Bam, ” top of the charts. To that end, I’m making my Goal in 2015 to follow your Lead, get out of my comfort zone here in gorgeous Montana and get those books in my head on paper, build my radio shows, Blogs, etc., and become one of your compatriots in the quest for World domination.
Happy New Year and welcome back to the craziness that is FB.
And No, I am not a Spammer.
xoxoxo
Yes very nice Mr Joel Comm , Happy New Year i wish you .. all the best
I think that is a fantastic exercise. To fully embrace your Vacation, your family and the moment in time without distraction sounds , well it sounds refreshingly delicious. I think sabbaticals from Social Media are a great idea and I might aspire to do the same! Happy New year Joel!
i did this once. Big learning was that’ no one cared. Even me
@warren No, no one cares when someone else stops posting on Facebook. Facebook is fundamentally about narcissism. You, Joel and I are inconsequential. What would be missed is this website, and that is the biggest threat from a facebook.
Hi Joel, I liked your comment about your private life being private. I agree 100%. I turned off all of my Facebook notifications for the new year. I was letting Facebook consume my valuable working time. Have a great 2015!
I’m wondering how much you missed once you plugged back in? was it a good time to be gone?
One thing I have always loved about you Joel is your heart. You recognise value and dignity in other people beyond just being potential clients. I feel that is validated even further by your decision to drop the spin, drop the engagement and have the holiday for reflection and rejuvenation.
Thank you for sharing this experience.
haha I realy need to do this too! once I tried but didn’t get it! gonna try it again 😀
If i can stay until now for 26 days without smoking, this couldn’t be harder!
Greetings from Paraguay Joel! I follow you allways
Hi Joel,
I think this post is awesome man. I always wanted to leave FB like for a week or something. Yes! I really do but I always fail and crawl back to it before I even know it!
I can really imagine the part where you are not able to respond to messages and your inbox is full. Yes!
Moving forward, I hope you have an awesome holiday and Happy New Year!
Interesting Joel. I left FB to do some writing for nearly a month a while back and wow my productivity went through the roof. I’ve now learned to cut back on social media though in the modern age FB is essential to some lines of work and amazing for making contacts. As for missing you, it’s funny how you actually do not miss someone/thing online when they are not regularly posting due to others taking all the attention.
Thanks for sharing this Joel. My favorite part of the article was this quote:
“We often are so eager to share our experience with others that we don’t fully appreciate the moment.”
I know there are a lot of moments that I could have shared but was so busy enjoying them that I ‘forgot’ to post. And I am so glad that I did. Thanks for the reminder to be in the moment – always.
Looking forward to seeing you soon in 2015.
The question now is, how much of this lesson will carry into the new year? Will 2015 be a “less is more” situation, or will it suck you right back in?
I gave it up for a period of time. Now that extra time is reading and commenting on blog posts about how much time it was wasting. 🙂
I guess we’ve all been there at one time or another; sick of social media and more than ready for a break.
As Warren mentioned in a previous comment – when it happens (and you do take a break) more often than not, nobody (NOBODY) cares.. it’s painful to see how quickly you can become forgotten I guess ..
Anyhow, good to know you are still alive Joel 😉
I am pretty good at turning it off and on when I want. Weekends are all for me and my family with very little business social, weekdays are mostly all biz related and social with a marketing purpose. I would so have had more trouble turning off my lovely Twitter than I would ignoring Facebook!
I decided NOT to even create a ZuckSpyBook account at all. I have been at parties where people (mostly young women) sits with their nose in front of the phone each 5’th or 10’th minute, even when conversations are going on around them. I think they are like sheeps, can’t exist longer without the herd. I really think social media makes especially young people more stupid. Those times I have been showed (by others) all the stupid-waste-of-time stuff people really are posting there, I can just wonder and be concerned what is happening to the sheep masses. I am so very much more convinced now than I have ever been that I don’t want to be a part of these robot’s wasteland.
I totally agree with The statement:
We often are so eager to share our experience with others that we don’t fully appreciate the moment.
Basically not using Facebook during a week-long vacation during the holiday is not really a big deal Joel. I would not expect that to take much effort, from someone unless they were actually addicted.
I’ve largely stopped using social media for personal reasons. I use it to post information related to my business, AALBC.com. I have noticed that my post engagement has gone down over the last few years, despite having many more followers. I’m not sure if this is related to my cessation of personal engagement. I do believe Facebook promote posts than encourage engagement on their platform and demote posts with links to external websites.
Sure people are addicted to Facebook, but the most pressing problem for web based business owners regarding Facebook is how to we continue to attract visitors in this environment.
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I have had that feeling for a while now. A lot of my customer base is on Facebook so I should post more, but I just can’t seen to get into it. It feels like a class assignment for the day 😛
Not checking into Facebook for days on end doesn’t bother me at all. I probably wouldn’t ever do visit Facebook again, if I didn’t have a private group of really tight friends to check up on, share photos etc. Plus it is the only way to check up on what my crazy family is up to. 😉
On the other hand I am hooked more on IG and love posting photos there. 😀 I have never really felt the real need for Facebook, in fact I removed Facebook app from my old cell phone and disabled the app on my new phone.
Now add the fact that Facebook is doing all kinds of changes, making it even harder for a small business get their posts seen in their fans feeds (because I am not going to pay for it) then again, why be on Facebook at all?
Love your posts Joel!!
I wholeheartedly agree with Troy Johnson (@aalbc). Facebook, and social media in general, has created a culture of narcissism. I went a step further to end 2014. I didn’t just take a vacation from Facebook, I deleted my profile altogether. And, by delete, I don’t mean deactivate. It’s gone, never to be found, again.
That said, I do have a profile I created in order to manage my company’s pages, but I’m not divulging what it is. It’s simply there for utilitarian purposes. It’s just that I really dislike Facebook’s intrusion on our private lives and what it’s making us become. So, I left it.
I’m still on LinkedIn for professional reasons, though, and Twitter for the occasional customer service needs I might have.
So long, Facebook. I really don’t think I’ll miss you!
Hmmmm… I wonder if this is more possible for a man to do than for a woman? I read another article today by another man who did the same thing. (But, of course, I enjoyed your article much more, Joel!) From my personal experience, I think us women spent more time than usual on Facebook over the holidays, simply because we had more “play” time available.
If I weren’t already nurturing the tribes of my clients on Facebook and getting paid for that, I think I could take a week off from my personal Facebook.
Obviously, I can’t take a week off from my email and if I had not subscribed to your newsletter I would not have known about this article. Everyone is always in their inbox. So maybe that’s another takeaway, eh?
p.s. I did miss you in Facebook. Did you miss me? 🙂
My computer stopped working 2 months ago so I’ve been offline for the past 2 months.
It was like a holiday vacation!
(But it’s good to be back).
It’s quite funny, because my sister and brother-in-law have left Facebook altogether, primarily because they were tired of people only using it to check up on everything, slander and other negative elements.
I have found that BLOCKING unwanted elements works just as fine, and having 500+”friends’ obviously means some are closer than others. But I have never felt it a burden to check up on Facebook. Maybe because I have it as an app on my smartphone – allowing me to check FB during train rides and in other circumstances where time would otherwise be wasted.
But nice to hear of YOUR experience, Joel. A very valid opinion about the use of social media – even when we don’t necessarily agree on all aspects.
its nice to hear your experience.. & i truly agreed that most of the time we spend on social media is one of the biggest reasons of creating family problems all around the world.. Happy New Year & Stay blessed Joel
thanks for continuing to be role model. I regularly leave social media for several days at a time and it seems no one misses me. If they do miss me, they don’t tell me that they do! I appreciate what you share on FB and your blog and the inspiration that you are always. You deserved a vacation from it all (as well all do) and I’m glad you took it. Now can we all remember to take vacations and be in the now even when we aren’t on vacation.
I am also grateful for the vehicle that FB offers for being updated on other’s lives. I enjoy knowing what is happening with people I rarely get to see in person and the ease of sharing some of my life experiences with them.
Great post Joel. I too have stopped posting on facebook about my personal life but I have also seen its the personal part of our lives that people want to know about us before we engage into business. At least in my country and continent. Zimbabawe, Africa
I’m going on 7 months of not logging in. I’ve also had some big events happen during that time which are FB worthy including remodeling my kitchen, becoming a dad for the first time, and getting my roof done. Not once did I feel the urge to share any of those.
The people I frequently talk to and see – I still frequently talk to and see. The people I occasionally talk to and see – I occasionally talk to and see. Its like FB didn’t exist in the first place.
Whats funny is when I ask somebody I see once or twice a year “what’s new” (but would see everything they post on FB everyday) they say not much. This re-assures me I am missing nothing. Nor are they missing anything of mine.
While my “vacation” was not planned, but rather forced upon me (laptop broke), I, too found it cathartic and refreshing…
Being someone that spends hours online, I was truly amazed how little it didn’t bother me that I was not plugged in for so long – nearly two weeks.
I got back on last night, just to check up on my FB notifications for the past week, and today I am FINALLY able to start clearing out my inboxes => ARGH!!!
Tomorrow I will complete 1 year without facebook!! And I’ve accomplished a lot of things in that year, I went back to blogging, and I’m improving my social media skills in a professional matter and besides that and as you said: “I share parts of my life in the social space, but I also hold tightly to my personal space.” I will be blogging tomorrow about this on my blog in spanish and I will quote you! 😉