The $25,000 Lunch
Branding is more than just getting your logo right and coming up with a catchy slogan for your company. While these things are obviously very important, branding can also include things like the outward appearance of you or your employees, and how you comport yourself in all the various details of business dealings. The following story is something that actually happened to me, and proves the saying that truth is stranger than fiction. In retrospect, I am glad that it happened, because I think it contains an important lesson on how branding must extend to your business dealings.
I was introduced to a gentleman who wanted to have lunch and speak to me about corporate coaching. He knew that we are in the process of growing our business, and he was in the business of helping executives strategize and plan and look at the big picture. We scheduled a lunch, and when he came by the office and introduced himself, he seemed like a nice enough guy.
We picked a little Mexican dive, and over lunch he began asking me questions about my business and some of my goals. I asked him some questions about what he does, and he dropped some big names of people he’s worked with. He also dropped a dollar amount. He said about $25,000, which I gathered was to get coached by him for a six to twelve month period to help me figure out what I wanted and how I was going to get it. I was initially interested, because I feel that that type of input is valuable.
We spoke for a good long while, had some lunch and a few laughs, got to know each other, and then the check came, and the check sat there. Now I am of the mind that when you invite someone to go to lunch, you buy. And remember, he invited me. We sat for awhile longer. For about fifteen minutes, the check just sat there on the table between us. When we concluded and stood up from the table, he pointed to the check and said, “Do you want to split that?”
This is not about the money. The check came to $16.88 for our two lunches.
This was just a huge turn-off on several levels. One, when you invite someone out, you pay. It’s just etiquette and common sense. Two, he said he was coaching these high-profile executives and he’s wanting me to invest with him and do business with him, and he’s asking me to pick up my half of the $16.88 check? So I did what any respectable business person would do: I picked it up myself, and I paid for it.
I just knew there was no way I could do business with this man after the impression this made on me. If you don’t have the good sense to buy lunch for a potential client whom you’re asking $25,000 from, then you are not someone I want to be coached by. When he wrote me his follow-up email, I wrote back and I said, “Hey I really appreciated our time together yesterday; you gave me some good things to think about that hadn’t occurred to me. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re a good fit at this time and I wish you the best.”
Some people might see this as petty, but I think his actions that day exposed his character and called his credibility into question. If this man is really commanding the kinds of fees he was talking about with the kinds of names he was throwing around, and is still concerned about splitting a $16 check, then I have some serious reservations about his character. And I’m way more interested in character than what you’ve achieved professionally. I may want what you’ve achieved professionally, but if your character is such that you don’t have integrity or common sense, then all the professional achievements in the world won’t help you.
Seen through the perspective of branding, this gentleman’s mistake was that his actions did not jive with the story he was telling about himself. And that violates one of the cardinal rules of branding: you must deliver a consistent message across all platforms. At the end of the day, that mistake ended up costing him $25,000.
I would love to hear your comments, so please enter them below.
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This article appears in the October 2009 edition of The Top One Report. To receive a trial edition for just $1, visit Joel Comm’s Top One Report
Hi Joel
I have never never felt comfortable with people splitting the cost for lunch. If you invite someone else for lunch or dinner, you are expected to pay and be agentleman so that the other party feels good about it and have a good impression of you. But again, in some cultres, especially Australia, it has been a common trend (I don’t know whya nd even till today I am still baffled) that when people go for lunch, invite anothe rperson for lunch, or it’s a farewell lunch, each is expected to foot their own bill!!! I still cannot accept such a culture even till today. In the asian ennvironment where I was born, educated, and developed my career, we never had such things as let’s split the bill and working out what items each has ordered and how much it will cost each person! Definitely, for sure, I will not associate with such persons and that’s why in the Australian environment, I seldom invite people for luches or dinner as I feel too embarassed having to split the cost.
Joel:
This was a great post and obviously struck a chord with many people. Of course, I agree with our take on the situation. I feel it most appropriate to pick up the tab when I invite, and if the other person insists, I definitely make plans for to invite and pick up next time. My networking community has a standing guideline that lunches are split. That’s different than what you were discussing.
But here’s the real point:
Your lunch mate has NO IDEA why you don’t feel he’s a fit for you. He’s clueless as to why you backed away, and he’ll never know.
If you had wanted to you could have shared this withi him – for his own benefit. But for all of us who have ever experienced a potential client saying “we’re not a good fit” or worse yet, not telling us anything at all, assuming fees are too high is obviously not a reality.
It’s a total blindspot. I have made it a practice to ask my prospects, gently, and with great respect, if they’d share with me how they made their decision. I’ve learned alot of great lessons this way. It does take courage to ask the difficult questions.
I feel that this story is not for the level that I exspect the content to be. This is a story for first year students in business school. The first lesson should be invite your customer and make him fell comfortable, etc.
Maybe this is why I would be afraid to write content since I would want it to be on a high level.
thanks
Yup….you can tell more about a person by having lunch, on many levels…Also, bring em out for supper and bring the spouses. Get the ladies impression…valuable! And finally, wanna really find out about someone? Travel with them…they’re true side always bursts through…thanks. Great post…Rob
It’s a good decision (and, let’s admit it, not very difficult one to make). Overdeliver is what I was doing a lot all my working life. Overdeliver is what’s been pounded into my skull by every internet marketer worth his salt since I started this im adventure. By this single and seemingly unimportant action, you can tell that this guy and that word don’t belong into the same sentence.
I agree with you Joel, its just common courtesy taught at home to be prepared to take the lead, as to help and show respect to those you associate with and are the example to.
Thank You for you advice.
We appreciate the insight and all the various comments. It would seem that it would be a good thing to learn about the expectations of the meeting ahead of time, but I would tend to agree that the one who invites takes care of the bill.